Wednesday, December 12, 2007

快乐

人就是这样!天天来来往往,都没有停顿的一刻。可能死就是我们画上句号的时刻吧!今天的我心情好乱,仿佛将会有一些事会发生。突然觉得我的人生观改革,看的东西比较远。

我爱的人不能为我而付出,喜欢的人都不能让我去喜欢。偏偏我喜欢的每一个都不在本地,这让我觉得难受极了。

有选择,我根本不想一心多用,只不过有时候我真的不知道该怎么办?其实我很简单,只想在早上睡醒时有我喜欢的人能给我一个拥抱、吻我和我说早安就够了。好幸福哦!哈哈....... 但是这倒难的,永远都很少机会能和我喜欢的人在一起。路人却很多,可是路人却不能给我一个我想要的。

能,只是满足到对方的需求吧!

此时此刻我在想你能真的让我快乐吗?.... +5 能的同时我该做些什么?

我的朋友 Sherman Lau

提起这一个朋友,他对我有一种特殊的感觉。一种很亲切、温和又友善,感觉就好像一个亲人。我从中四就认识他,他的名字叫刘文达,虽说他是一个普普通通的人,但他却是一个很有钱的独生子。开始认识他真的不知道他的背景,交了朋友后才知道他原来是来自一个富裕的家庭。起初还真的有一点不习惯,因为我从来都没有尝试过有这种朋友。

认识他真好,他为人很随和,做人也很简单,不是很会摆架子但有时候就很固执。固执到有时候拿他没办法。但是如果你能当他的好朋友或知己一定是一件很幸福的事,因为他对他的死党是超体贴的。

回想当年(2000年),我们在网上聊ICQ,互相问候和讨论功课,根本就不认识对方,只知道对方是学生。哈哈!好笨哦! 就这样我们的友情就开始了。记得我学校有一个interact club的活动,是我搞的耶!(当时还拿奖)所以就邀请文达出席了。记得当天他是最后一个到的,而且全校已经没人了,只有我和他。但他还称赞我的作品很好呢!哈哈哈!就这样我们投契起来了。

几个月后他就考SPM了,那我呢还要升上中五(惭愧极了!同年的我们竟然我要留班)。毕竟他还是一个天才,什么东西都很好学,学术方面当然比我强十倍还拿了很多A等。最后,他中学终于毕业了,留下只还是穿校衣的我,哈哈!当时的我也不赖,我在班上比任何一个人都好学,就是因为我认识了他,经过他给我洗脑和鼓励后,我天天都被书压着睡觉,才发觉读书的快乐。虽然当年大考的我没有他那么的精彩,可是这是我一生中可以觉得光荣的事,因为我已全力以赴了。在这也要感谢他天天给我补课,尤其是数学。我是不会忘记的。

大家毕业后,还是保持密切的联络,要好到就好像亲兄弟似的,如果别人不认识你,他们还以为我们是GAY的。直到有一天,我开始谈恋爱了(他好像有吃醋因为他还没有找到一个),渐渐的我们的友情有一点疏远但是还是很要好啦!(就是因为他们不喜欢对方咯)

2002年:一年又过去了,文达终于找到了他的恋爱,但是情况好像并不乐观,一点都不像我和我的另一半似的。但就是因为这样,我们阴差阳错的认识了另外一对小情人。当时候,我们6人可算是3对幸福的情侣(A+B“我”/“文达”C+D/E+F)。而且还时常一起出去、兜兜风、看戏、吃饭、旅游之类等等...... 但快乐就只是短暂的,很快的我们6人的友情,爱情却变了。竟然D爱上E,F却搭上了C。之后呢.... D却跟F一起。E还想抢走我的A 呢! 岂有此理!!真是变得不伦不类的。但是始终他们CDEF都没有在一起了,但(ACDE)却在墨尔本又相遇了。嗨!奇怪!!
还要提一提,文达就在年中飞去墨尔本念书了(4年啊),而我喜欢的人半年后也飞去哪儿念书了。他最令我欣慰的是,他飞了之后还每天给我打电话,和我分享他的喜怒哀乐,这真是让我开心有一个这么要好的死党。

2003年;A终于也飞去墨尔本念书了(6年啊),我永远不忘不了2003年的痛苦。心真的好痛好痛!因为我心爱的人又要离我而去了。我能怎样?他一个人在哪儿人生路不熟,我能信任的只是文达,只有他才能帮我照顾A,就这样我就每天开始烦着文达起来了,哈哈!他真的不耐烦了。每天都给我投诉我和A的不和(我也是第一次嘛!和喜欢的人分割两地就是酱的咯)就只有短短的3个月,把他们的关系都变好了,也变厚了,他们竟然可以成为朋友,而当我去墨尔本探望他们的前一天竟然把我去车站接我的事给忘了,反而去夜店玩到早上6点。真是让我生气极了!(可是又不敢出声)等我到了机场打电话给他们时还在床上睡觉。搞到我要一个人乘巴士到市区去找他们。2003年也是我一个难忘的年份,因为毕竟我也是瞒天过海的抛下家人与工作和学业到澳大利亚玩了1个月。虽然有不开心的事情发生,但是我觉得还是很幸福的,毕竟我是一个人在18岁时拿着我的护照一个人出国去。哈哈!还记得一到墨尔本他们就带我到Victoria Market 吃午饭,他们的价钱吓得我都不敢吃。好贵哦!吃饱后,就到文达的家参观,当时我还记得天气是超冷的,冷冷的风迎面而来,让我不知所措的冷极了。一到文达的家,我就倒上床睡着了。(这样的天气谁会不睡)呵呵!! 就这样我就很无聊的过了4个星期的旅程。

2004年:很快的,一年一年的过去了,而他们也随着年龄的长大和知识的增长而改变了他们的思想与生活方式。短短的一年,他们可以接受了那一边的生活方式,一起分享彼此的快乐,认识了很多朋友,多姿多彩的大专生活,可以在国外赚外快等等.....而我呢就在kl白白的看着他们的变。没什么的,只是偶尔会和文达冲突几句咯(也不知道为什么?就是有时候合不来了,可能我不知道哪一边的生活方式吧!)。就是因为彼此都太固执了吧。哈哈!

2005.......... 2006 ......... 2007 ...... 2010...... 2020 ....... 就这样日复一日我和文达的友情开始变淡了,从此不再是好朋友的身份和他说话了,而变成他好朋友的是A。可能是我们相隔太远了,而又少聊天和联络,自然而然的就变成不说话的朋友了。感觉上有点儿后悔,实际上却有点舍不得,基本上我也不能做些什么来补救了。 (记得我能为他做的一件事,就是在他大专最后一年选Mr.Uni 时,我还为他投票而且还不止一票呢!哈哈忘了恭喜你,拿了季军。)

文达:

其实我把我们的小故事放在我的Blog呢,原因是我想纪念一下我们的故事,也想让你知道你是一位很好的死党,希望有有朝一日我们还会像以前般。两个月前,竟然让我在健身房碰见你,但是你竟然连hello也没有说一声就擦声而过,真的让我生气和伤心。所以为了想让你知道我的感觉,我就特地写了一些关于你的故事和大家分享。


希望你别忘记我们可贵的友情。


Sy



PS:这有点像写着爱情故事,但请别乱想和给于假设,只是描述着一段很可贵的友情。


《SOMETIMES》
Sometimes I feel very happy
Sometimes I feel very sad,

Sometimes I feel accompanied
Sometimes I feel lonely,

Sometimes I love you very much
Sometimes I hate you so much,

Sometimes I feel happy for you
Sometimes I feel jealous because of you,

Sometimes I only want to think of you
Sometimes I really want to hold you close,

Sometimes I feel like a loser
Sometimes I feel like a winner,

Sometimes I feel so fulfilled
Sometimes I feel so empty,

Sometimes I try to forget you
Sometimes I can't seem to stop thinking about you,

Sometimes It's so irritating when you are not free to answer my call
Sometimes We enjoy talking hours in our phone calls,

Sometimes I thought of sending a SMS to you
Sometimes I called you up instead,

Sometimes I keep thining if you during lessons
Sometimes I even dream of you when I sleep,

Sometimes I feel like telling you something but it did not come out
Sometimes you feel like telling me something but it did not come out,

Sometimes you make me laugh
Sometimes I cry when you are not there for me,

Sometimes I managed to make you happy
Sometimes I can't even make you smile,

Sometimes loving you hurts so much
Sometimes knowing you could be the best thing ever happened to me.


by
Sherman Lau

Cloudy

已经是三天阴天了,雨还是连绵不绝的下,究竟要到何时才能放晴呢?最近一直反复的想到底真正能让我开心的是什么?为什么我们身边的事物都要一直让我们去操心、费心和担心呢?现在的我在想,每次在投诉的我为何不找个解决的方针呢?就只会一直在埋怨。(如果有,我也不用烦了)

天别再下雨了!放晴吧!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

“So, all these while what you have been doing was a cover-up for your messy, long-distance relationship?”

Someone has asked me this question today.and this was my answer to that person.

Yes

Why on earth would I answered that? hahaha ... but since i have said it then i have to admit it. I am lonely all the while having a long distance relationship, have been waiting for someone whom i like for more than 5 years. Until now i get nothing.Silly me!!

But i think liking someone doesnt have to be that close and in the same location,
seeing each other everyday or meeting everyday.Even i wish i could do that but sometimes i just feel hopeless for my love life.hopeless..

after being asked by the person whom likes me in kl recently, i felt really bad about it.And i really wish to let that person know that i would rather having you as my good buddy than a lover.becuase it is not easy being with me , and i have a miserable life.


Although I enjoyed the feeling being liked and chased by someone but sometimes when i was just over doing it, i would just hurt the one's heart whom likes me.

to be honest, I love You, I like You, I Miss You, I Want You, I Need You are not easy for me to say any more. Afetr all, what I can feel is the fake love that i am always having will be disappeared when the next morning i wake up. FAKE LOVE!!

Treasure.... having someone in your life, having someone u really like in your life, having someone that you really think is worth it to be with in life. It doesnt matter about the distance as long as you feel comfortable being with the someone you treasure with.

Selfish? I don't think so.For me, as long as I can see people smile the next morning when you wake up, then i will be as happy as them.